Andrea's last two msgs pretty much sum up the ordeal of heading home ... I have never been so tired in my life.
Since our landing in Mtl on the 24th, we are struggling to establish the New Normal around here ... not easy, I admit. Ebba is doing pretty well, but I am feeling pretty overwhelmed with the jetlag, time change, new baby adjustment, and big sister adjustment.
As I keep saying, adoption is not for the faint of heart. Would welcome any thoughts on how to survive this transition with sanity intact ...
Haven't had a minute nor an ounce of extra energy to download pics yet - hopefully in the next few days.
I want to thank all of you who sent encouraging comments via this blog while we were in ETH. The slow dial-up connection prevented me from accessing other than a few while there, but I have since re- read them all, and really appreciate that people were interested in our journey.
More soon,
Allison
Oh, I know that jet-lagged, worn-out feeling... and I didn't even have to deal with a tantruming toddler; I had a very easy sleeper of a 4.5-yr-old on my return trip!
ReplyDeleteOur biggest issue upon getting home was actually dealing with big-sister adjustment. Little-brother adjustment took its time and had its ups and downs, but it was the big-sister adjustment that caused the headaches.
What can I say? Tough it out; get as much rest as possible; deal evenly with the children; make sure big sister gets some special Mommy time (and Daddy time)... this, too, shall pass.
Hope you have a restful transition to the New Year.
Welcome Home!
ReplyDeleteWe brought home two boys (10months and 3 years) last April. Of the five of us, our 8year old daughter definitely had the most difficult time adjusting. She was in Ethiopia with us and certainly required more attention (and patience) than her new brothers.
I can only say that time will help the family dynamics sort themselves out. Try not to be too hard on yourself - nap if you are able, cuddle whoever is near, try to clear everything else from your schedule, and know that it will all be okay, it just needs a little time.
Best ot the four of you,
Shauna
haragwan says she can come over.
ReplyDelete. that is her suggestion. she likes to help out. as you well know it can take months before the photos get downloaded/organized, etc. and even more months before everyone feels at peace with it, going on 18 mos and counting!!
sk
Hi Allison.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I want to say that I think it is great you are expressing the difficulties as well as the joy. It can be difficult to do, but is helpful for you and other people in the journey to adopt.
What can I say about the first month? It is beyond difficult and at times I honestly wondered what the hell I had done. Selam tantrumed atleast 10 times a day. some for an hour long. She was grieving and finally felt able to let it out. I felt bad for our other children - in particular our 8 year old daughter as she had the hardest time at first. All I can really say to you is that it will get better. You won't recognize Ebba in a month. She will be a totally different child and in three months even more so. It is sooo hard, but it will pass. I felt great relief in hearing that from others and knowing they too had a hard time(allthough none seemed quite as hard as ours!!!!!ha ha) It also helped us HUGELY to limit time with friends. It just put pressure on me to make things seem okay when they weren't. I was worried about how Selam would be perceived and the best way to not worry was to just be together as a family and ride it out. Now, four months later, I am not at all worried about how she will act. Oh and I tried to use an "empty cup" analogy when Selam was freaking out. I thought of her as a cup needing to be filled and that was why she was acting like that. Her cup was empty and we needed to help her fill it. Made me more empathetic and less angry. Sounds kinda weird, but it worked.
Anyways, take care and try so hard to remember that it will get better. Sleep, her behaviour, Mei Le's transition - everything will get better.
love, Natasha
Welcome home Allison and Ebba!!! I didn't check blogs a whole lot while we were away but I was thinking about you guys and hoping that everything was going well!!
ReplyDeleteI totally know how you are feeling with the jet-lag combined with the adjustment of the new little one! There is no worse feeling to have this new little one home and not feel like you have the energy you want to have right off the bat. Unfortunately, the only thing that made it easier was time. Eventually with catching up on the sleep you'll just fall into a routine. With Zia, we just followed her cues as to when she wanted to nap, eat etc. and that just became her 'normal'. For us, it took about 2-3 weeks before we really established a solid routine and got to know her enough to know exactly what she needed when she needed it. It seemed so impossible at first but it just happens. :-)
Looking forward to seeing pictures when you are ready, and of course meeting Ebba at some point! Please don't hesitate to email or call if you need anything!
--Danielle
Hey Allison......
ReplyDeleteglad you made it home in one piece :-) Can't thank you ENOUGH! for the updates on our girls!!!
Looking forward to seeing how the transition works - it'll be a journey, for sure :-)
If you DO have any pics ofopur wee ones ... we would appreciate it beyond words.
Hugs;
'Nicky'
Welcome home Allison! I have enjoyed following you to Addis and back. Just wanted to wish you all the best as you settle in and adjust to life with Ebba.
ReplyDeleteDianne
Allison -- I followed your journey faithfully, but basically as one of those very annoying lurkers.
ReplyDeleteI know how tough it is to get through the first week at home. What really helped us was remembering that the moment we were experiencing would pass and things would get a little better most days as time went on. And they did but, man, was it ever hard.
Thinking of you guys!
Chris